can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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