I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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