Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
