i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
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