Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
