so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Randomize
