I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
