When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I have already put on my inside pants.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
