he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
