you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
smell my finger.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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