It's Friday. Sex?
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
