Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Randomize
