I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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