I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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