shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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