Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
This couple is walking their pig around campus
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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