After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
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Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
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I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
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