lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
