so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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