Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
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