That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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