I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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