She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Randomize
