Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
