She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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