Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
