You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
foreskin is a definite game changer
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
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