Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
