He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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