guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
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