I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Randomize