so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize