Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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