I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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