What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Randomize
