ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
