You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize