everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Randomize
