my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Randomize