Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
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