marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Randomize
