bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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