Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
