I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
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I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
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some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
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