I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I want to be your penis for a week.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
