Hey man sorry I got all grabby
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
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But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
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But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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