LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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