If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Randomize
