I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Im part way to drunk.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
