OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Randomize
