I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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