I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
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Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
I think I sprained my soul last night
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
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That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.