I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
mondays should just be called national damage control day
Dating After Heartbreak
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
These Images Prove Chrissy Teigen is the Funniest Model Alive
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.